Trigger Warning: It's Everything!

Sometimes, the whole world is just one giant trigger, and that’s the reality we’re rolling with today.

Sometimes it feels like the entire world is a trigger. Not just one thing, not just a bad day or a stressful event… No! It’s everything. A song on the radio, the way the sunlight hits your eyes too sharply, the smell of your coffee in the morning. Everything. People who don’t live with chronic pain or mental health struggles are quick to ask, “What triggered it this time?” It’s their go-to question because they assume there must be a reason.

Here’s the brutal truth: a lot of the time, there’s no clear reason, no neat and tidy explanation. I didn’t fall. I didn’t sleep wrong. I didn’t forget to drink enough water or meditate or do that yoga pose that supposedly fixes everything (spoiler: it doesn’t). But still, the pain is here. Still, I’m stuck in a mental fog or overwhelmed by anxiety. And no, it’s not because of that one thing you’re trying to figure out. Sometimes, it just happens.

Here’s where the frustration kicks in, for both parties. Non-chronic pain folks (or as I like to call them, "the lucky ones") feel the need to understand, to know what started it. It’s like they believe that if they can just find the cause, they can swoop in with a solution. This isn’t some crime scene investigation, though. There’s no fingerprint that explains why today hurts more than yesterday or why I feel like a wreck after three pretty good days.

Why do they ask? Honestly, it's probably a mix of things. Part of it is genuine concern. They want to help. But another part? They’re looking for control, for a way to make it make sense. And in a world where everyone loves a quick fix, it’s uncomfortable to accept that some things — like pain or depression — don’t come with clear instructions. Humans are wired to seek reasons because we’ve been taught that if we know the why, we can fix the what.

But chronic pain or mental health? It doesn’t play by those rules. There’s no guaranteed fix. No magic cure. It doesn’t care that you’ve followed every piece of well-meaning advice. And when you try to “figure it out,” you only end up in a spiral. You know the one: where you overanalyze every step, every meal, every moment, trying to trace back to that exact second when things went wrong.

Here’s a tip: That spiral? It helps no one. Least of all, you.

Let’s talk about how to handle it when people ask you that dreaded question, “What triggered it?” or worse, when you catch yourself spiraling, trying to figure out why this is happening this time.

1. Acknowledge their intent, but set the record straight

Sometimes people ask because they don’t know what else to say. They’re trying to be supportive, but it’s like they’re reading off a script from the wrong play. You can thank them for their concern, but you’ve got to be real with them. Something like: “I appreciate you asking, but there isn’t always a clear cause. It just… happens sometimes. And that’s okay.”

This not only helps them understand your experience but also sets a boundary. You’re not obligated to dig through every detail of your life just to give them an answer that may not even exist.

2. Stop playing detective

We’ve all been there. A flare-up happens, and suddenly you’re Sherlock Holmes in your own body, searching for clues. Was it the new pillow? That extra slice of pizza? Did you skip a day of stretching? Spoiler alert: This investigation is a wild goose chase, and it’s only going to make you more stressed. The reality is, a lot of these things just don’t have a clear cause. Instead of searching for answers, focus on what you need right now. Do you need rest? Distraction? A good cry? Listen to what your body’s asking for, not what your brain is trying to dissect.

3. Focus on “how,” not “why”

When we stop asking why this is happening and start asking how we can manage it, the whole process gets a little less exhausting. You don’t need to figure out the mystery of what started it. All you need to do is figure out how to get through it today, right now. Maybe that’s lying in a dark room for a while. Maybe it’s calling a friend to talk about anything but your pain or your mood. Maybe it’s just getting through the next hour. That’s enough. You don’t have to have all the answers.

4. Flip the script

When someone asks, “What triggered it?” and you feel yourself bracing for impact, try flipping the question back at them, but in a way that helps educate without shutting them down. “You know, I wish it worked that way. I wish there was one clear trigger. But chronic pain doesn’t always have a reason. That’s the tough part about it. Sometimes, the body just decides to be difficult, and we have to figure out how to roll with it.”

This can be a good way to help people understand without making them feel like they’ve overstepped. You’re keeping it real, but you’re also helping them see the bigger picture.

5. Accept that sometimes, everything is triggering

And yeah, sometimes it really is everything. When you’re in the middle of a flare or a mental health episode, it can feel like the entire world is working against you. The lights are too bright. People are too loud. Your clothes don’t fit right. The air feels too sharp. There’s no pinpointing it because it’s just the whole damn thing. And that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for feeling overwhelmed by everything.

6. Teach people that it’s okay not to have a reason

Now you may not have the energy to do this, and it’s ok if you don’t want to. We’ve been conditioned to think that everything needs an explanation, but sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is accept that there isn’t one. When people ask what they can do to help, you can say, “Honestly? Just be here. I don’t need to solve it right now, and there might not even be a solution. I just need to know I’m not alone in this.” That’s often enough.

7. Give yourself permission to not know

You’re not obligated to know why you’re in pain or why your mental health is spiraling. Let yourself off the hook. You don’t need to have the answers, and you don’t need to justify your experience to anyone, including yourself.

Pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, doesn’t always follow a logical path. Sometimes it shows up uninvited and overstays its welcome. That’s just part of the deal. Sometimes, everything is triggering. And that’s just life: messy, unpredictable, and a little bit chaotic.

And me? I’m just handling it one breath at a time. Are you?