Rest is hard!

I bet you've never rested before

I’ve tried for years (I mean DECADES), and I know this better than anyone: resting, real resting is hard.

It’s monumentally challenging.

It takes so much effort to even come close to getting it right, let alone perfecting it. And if you’re honest with yourself, you probably haven’t really rested in years either.

Because resting isn’t just about lying down or zoning out. It’s about convincing your brain to stop spinning, to let go of the guilt, to quit making lists of everything left undone. And let’s be honest, our brains were never taught how to rest.

Why rest is so hard

Rest isn’t something we learned. We were taught to push through, to keep going, to rest only after we’ve crossed some invisible finish line of “enough.” Even then, it was considered indulgent, lazy, or unproductive.

Here’s the kicker: even when our bodies give out, our minds don’t know how to follow. Have you ever been so exhausted you couldn’t fall asleep? That’s your proof.

There’s science to back this up, too. Studies show that our brains aren’t wired to “switch off” completely. Instead, they enter a default mode network when we’re at rest (a state where the mind wanders, often drifting to unfinished tasks or unresolved worries). This is why lying down to rest can sometimes feel like your brain suddenly turns the volume up on everything you’ve been trying to ignore.

Add in societal conditioning, where productivity equals worth, and it’s no wonder we struggle. A 2021 study found that more than half the subjects experience guilt when they take time off, even when it’s necessary. The pressure to always be “on” is baked into how we live.

What rest really means

Rest isn’t “doing nothing.” It’s your body working behind the scenes to heal, recover, and preserve energy. It’s making sure you can show up tomorrow.

On days when I can’t do much, I remind myself that my body is still doing something. Sometimes I write it down just to see it in front of me: Rest is productive for me.

But I know that’s easier said than done. So, what does real rest look like? And how can we actually do it?

How to actually rest

Here are a few things I’ve learned (and am still learning) about finding real rest:

1. Reframe what rest means
   Stop thinking of rest as “doing nothing” and start seeing it as essential work. Write it down if you need to: Rest is recovery. Rest is healing. Rest is productive.

2. Set boundaries with guilt
   When the guilt creeps in, talk back to it. I know it sounds silly, but say it out loud: “Thank you for your input, but rest is what I need right now.” Giving yourself permission to rest starts with challenging the voice that says you don’t deserve it.

3. Pick the right kind of rest
   Not all rest is created equal. According to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s framework, there are seven types of rest:

   • Physical rest: Stretching, lying down, or sleeping.

   • Mental rest: Quieting your racing thoughts, perhaps through meditation or journaling.

   • Sensory rest: Reducing screen time, dimming lights, or sitting in silence.

   • Emotional rest: Letting yourself express emotions without judgment.

   • Social rest: Spending time alone or with people who don’t drain you.

   • Creative rest: Giving your brain a break from problem-solving or overthinking.

   • Spiritual rest: Reflecting on purpose, gratitude, or something bigger than yourself.

   Figure out which type you’re lacking and focus on that.

4. Create a rest ritual
   Make rest intentional by building a ritual around it. Light a candle, put on soothing music, or grab a cozy blanket. Teach your brain to associate these cues with relaxation, so it knows when to shift gears.

5. Schedule rest like you would work
   Block out time for rest the way you would for a meeting or appointment. Treat it as non-negotiable. Because it is.

6. Start small
   If full-on rest feels overwhelming, start with short moments. Five minutes of lying down. One deep breath. A single quiet moment before moving to the next thing. Stop. Take a pause. Look at a wall or the ceiling. Then move.

I’m not going to pretend I’ve mastered this. Resting is still a work in progress for me, and I have to remind myself constantly that it’s okay to stop. It’s not easy. My brain is a wild wild beast, but I’m hopeful that it’ll learn eventually.

Now, I bet you’ve never really rested, and I’m ready to be proven wrong.

Am I wrong? Tell me in the comments.

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Not resting today,
Shruti.