I started this year with cautious optimism wrapped in a blanket of dread. I was grateful, though (2023 had been rough, and I was finally in a better place). Things were looking up.
And then, 12 days in, I lost my job.
It was the first time I’d ever lost something I had, and it sent me into a spiral of grief, self-doubt, and uncertainty. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, or how to move forward. But somewhere in that haze, I found an unshakable hope that things always happen to me for a reason and that something bigger will come my way.
It did. I got the chance to work again on a 0-to-1 project with my former employers, my favorite employers! It gave me something to be passionate about again, something familiar to ground me. Then came another full-time job to pay the bills and life kicked into overdrive. I was working around the clock, managing home, cherishing beautiful moments with my family, and feeling fulfilled.
Until I wasn’t.
Work took a toll on my mental health. I found myself stuck between wanting to give everything and not being able to, tripped up by interpersonal challenges, exhaustion, and a sense of disconnect. The rest of the year became a blur of trying to find balance, appreciating small things, and taking each day as it came.
The wins and the wonders
This year wasn’t all struggle, though. There were moments of joy, awe, and achievement:
I manifested a big dream - traveling for work. My first solo trip ever took me to the USA (to Vegas and Green Bay). I made it back in one piece!
I traveled back to India and realized that home isn’t a place; it’s the people you love. And sometimes, what once felt like home doesn’t anymore, and that’s okay.
I started reading again. Audiobooks counted, and I made it through 87 books this year (7 in 2023, almost none since 2011). It felt like reclaiming a part of me that had been lost. Thank you to Parenting with Migraine for pulling me through!
I witnessed magic in the skies with double rainbows, an eclipse, the aurora borealis, the mystery drones, and the most stunning sunsets.
I saw Niagara up close, on the cruise and it was nothing short of incredible.
I kept my plants alive.
I saved some money (for the first time).
One of my posts saw close to a million views (I never thought that would happen).
Found my art style (For someone who was clueless, I finally found something that’s me — fully aware that can evolve or devolve).
Small wins became lifelines:
I fought less with my husband (I deserve an award for this).
I wrote, doodled, made art, and started a Substack.
I made incredible posts for Neura Health! And also started creating posts for my 0-1 project, GetCopayHelp.
I went bowling and tried ice skating (though I didn’t make it onto the ice because of loose skates and a twisted ankle).
I indulged in a LOT of “me time,” amazing food, cocktails, and moments with friends and family.
I felt very much inspired to create and was able to give myself to do without sinking in doubt, thanks to the founders of The Six Percent Club.
The challenges and the lessons
It hasn’t been easy (obviously). I’ve lived with near-daily anxiety attacks for the past three months. I’m feeling more uncertain about everything, more doubtful of my own skills and ability, more inadequate, more terrified of tomorrow, more depressed than earlier this year, and just less sure of who I am.
Winter has been rough, and the exhaustion has felt never-ending. My health has been okay overall, but new symptoms, flare-ups, and treatments have added to the fatigue. I’m trying to find ways to cope and manage my symptoms.
I also compromised on my mental health at work, pushing myself too hard, putting aside my non-negotiables with work culture, and coming dangerously close to burnout.
The weight of it all has been heavy. This year has taught me again that balance is something I can’t ignore. Also, how easy it is to slip back into old patterns, and blackholes can appear and reappear several times, and you know you’ll get through it because you did last time, even if you can’t see a way out.
It’s been interesting navigating the same path, but at a different altitude or plane than before with all that I’ve learned so far.
Word for 2024 - Endurance
This year has been about holding on, through uncertainty, anxiety, loss, and the relentless grind of daily life. Endurance isn’t glamorous, but it’s powerful. To me it defines the strength to keep going, to show up for the next task, the next challenge, the next day, even when everything feels heavy. So, endurance it is.
As this year ends, I can’t help but feel grateful. This last week especially, I’ve seen just how much I have to be thankful for. Even with the anxiety, exhaustion, and dread that creeps in as I look ahead to 2025, I’m grateful to still be here, to have experienced it all, to discover more aspects of myself, to life, and to just going with the flow.
I may not feel excited about what’s next (blame anxiety), but I’m definitely curious. Curious about what’s in store, about the lessons I’ll carry forward, about how I’ll keep growing. 2024 wasn’t perfect, but it was real, and I’m holding on to that as I move into another chapter!
Sum up your 2024 in one word.
Still savoring the last few hours of 2024 here in Ontario,
Shruti.
What a big year. Wins and wonder, I love that. So much healing coming through as well as insight and understanding.
That’s an incredible amount of books. When I started reading again back in 2018, I hadn’t read a book in many years. One of my favourite past times had fallen wayside as I lived a life of fatigue, burnout and chronic illness instead. I read tons on migraine, health, hormones, healing, trauma and as part of research for my own books, memoir. Reading other people’s stories of overcoming the impossible has become my favourite genre. What’s yours (fiction or non-fiction)?
Great piece, thanks for sharing! I also reconnected with reading Big time this year too! The jump from last year to this year was similar for me too.